Project NoSpank

indi's picture

After knowing that there is a "Kiwi organization promoting hitting children" , I immediately felt I needed to find out about the cost and benefit of doing so.

As you may already know, Rani and I have a 16 month old boy and believe it is time for us to start understanding the most effective methods to encourage our son to be "socially responsible" at home and outside home.

If you support such corporal punishment for children then you probably should not read this Project NoSpank that I am considering to adopt as the source for my child rearing methods. Here is a good quote:

"As long as the child will be trained not by love, but by fear, so long will humanity live not by justice, but by force. As long as the child will be ruled by the educator’s threat and by the father’s rod, so long will mankind be dominated by the policeman’s club, by fear of jail, and by panic of invasion by armies and navies.”
- by BORIS SIDIS, from "A lecture on the abuse of the fear instinct in early education" in Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 1919.

For those of you who consider (or have adopted) spanking as a way of making your kids behave based on religious or traditions, then I encourage you to read this at your convenience: Plain Talk About Spanking. Some of the messages it conveyed are:

"Defenders of spanking often argue that a parent's only choice is between spanking and doing nothing. That’s a false choice. To be ignored can be as emotionally damaging to a child as physical violence. Children, given the choice between unpleasant contact with a parent and no contact at all, will often choose the former."

Well, that's a strong point, isn't it? So, parents.... remember: NEVER HIT!

However, if you feel like you are an advocate of spanking, here is a list of spanking questions for you, which you can answer by copying/pasting to the comment field:

* What is the earliest age at which a child (infant) may be spanked?
* What is the oldest age at which a spanking may be appropriate?
* Should a spanking be applied to the bare bottom or clothed (diapered) bottom?
* Should spanking be done only in private, or immediately upon commission of the punishable offense?
* Should the spanker use the hand so as to get "instant feedback," or never use the hand, but rather a "neutral" object, e.g., a pastry spatula, hair brush, belt?
* Should spanking leave marks? If so, how long should the marks last, and should the marks on a fair-skinned child be assessed differently than the marks on a dark-skinned child?
* Should a spanking be prolonged until the child cries?
* Should a child be spanked for crying?
* Should girls be spanked differently than boys?
* Should boyfriends of single moms be authorized to spank cranky infants?
* Should stepdads have free rein to spank disobedient teenage stepdaughters?


Read Your Bible!

The Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child. The reason these kids grow up to disrespect their parents and talk back and do whatever they want is because TIME OUT DOESN'T WORK!!!!!! There are people out there that use spanking as a form of child abuse but it doesn't negate the fact that showing your child discipline with spanking is not effective. It shows them boundaries and that there are things that you don't say and don't do. Taking away their tv, computer and phone does nothing but show them they will get it back eventually. Communication with your child about why they got a spanking should be done so they think they are being abused, but I refuse to raise a bunch of deliquents who think I don't love them because I let them get away with everything. The best lessons are the ones that hurt the most.

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